I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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