Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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