I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Randomize
