Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
