Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
vagina is talking i cant
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
