Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
