Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
