Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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