piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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