I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
