Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize