pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
