Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
