Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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