Plan B is the new Plan A
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize