Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
