she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
she told me i tasted like america
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
