Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
