and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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