She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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