Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
