Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
vagina is talking i cant
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
