yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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