and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
