She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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