I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
