My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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