sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
