My brain says no but my pants say off.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
My breasts were aching with rage.
I touched a dick in church today
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
