like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Randomize
