Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
