Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
