wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
