I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
