So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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