she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
