Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i think i have two assholes
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize