Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
