Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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