I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
