get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
my being single is dangerous.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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