I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
