she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
this just has baby written all over it
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
