i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
