I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
