i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
So vagazzling was a success
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