Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
