i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
