i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
