My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
