he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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