I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize