Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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