why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
