I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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