The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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