If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize