the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
