My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
