Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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