Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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