Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
