you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
