it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
