Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
A+ Viking dick
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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