Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
