can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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