I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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