I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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