you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
